A Harangue Against the Lazy

The kind of laziness I really hate.

 

Why are people so lazy?  I know, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.  Yes, I admit I am lazy, but not about everything.  Lazy cook?  Yes.  Study Japanese lazy?  Yes, sometimes.  I could write down a long list of things I am lazy about.  Walking is not one of them.

Before you get scared and roll your eyes, this is not a harangue about people who drive their cars when they could walk.  This isn't even a harangue about people who park illegally in disable parking (they should be shot, even if they have a sticker they "borrowed" from a family member).  This is a different harangue altogether.

There are two types of lazy people that bother me the most.  The people who take the elevator one floor, and the people who use the automatic door open button.  Let's take them one at a time.

Taking the elevator one floor is wrong.  No wonder North America has a weight problem.  If you've never been to the building, and don't know where the stairwell is (despite clear signs directing you to it) perhaps you have a reason for your sad, pathetic behaviour.  However, after multiple visits and guided tours, you're just pissing the rest of us off.  When I take the elevator up to the twentieth floor, I don't expect or want to stop at every floor.  I'm not in a Japanese department store.

As for using the automatic door opener..... if you're a child, I won't blame you.  An automatic door is cool.  I will blame your parents though if you continue to do this into your teen years.  What's wrong with you?  Is the door too heavy?  Are you unable to read which way it opens, and therefore need to press that button to stop you from looking stupid? (By the way, it doesn't work that way.  Pressing the button makes you look stupid and feeble.)  You're in the way, and you're taking too long to get through the door.

Vending Machine Envy

the latest hi tech vending machine from Japan

 

 

Why can't we have cool vending machines like they do in Japan?  Several of the Jvloggers (Japan Video Bloggers in case you didn't know) I follow have done some posts about vending machines in Japan.  They are pretty cool, and offer a hell of a lot more choice than I can get in Canada.



availability

Is it a population density thing?  Is Canada just too big with smaller concentrations of people to place vending machines in convenient places?  Granted, I haven't seen any outside in a long time, but I have seen them in schools, hospitals, community centres and other places where either the service was needed, or somebody thought they could make a buck or two.  (Okay, I sometimes look at business pessimistically--It might be different if I were getting a cut)

Perhaps the powers that be just don't want to put vending machines on the streets where they could get vandalized.  I can understand, though not agree, with this argument.  And in reality, it has been a long time since I came across one outside and don't really miss them.  I don't like paying convenience store prices, but I have found enough alternatives that it doesn't matter so much.



Choices

However, for the ones that we do have, why can't they be cool like the ones they have in Japan?  Why do I have make do with four or five choices when most Japanese machines have more than 20 (hot and cold)?  The newest ones have considerably more.

It can't be a coin issue because Canadians have one and two dollar coins (the loonie and the twoonie).  The ones in Japan take bills--I even used one once that took the Japanese equivalent of a one hundred dollar bill.

Is it just wishful thinking?

Tales of the Lazy

 

 

What if technology is too smart for someone's brain?  Today's smartphones put all kinds of information within easy reach, but does that matter if you don't reach for it.  That old question of whether a tree falling in the forest makes any sound if there is no one to hear it kind of applies.  Having all the information has no effect if you don't ask the question.

Several of my students confided in me recently that they wouldn't have come here (Canada) to study if they had known what the weather was going to be like.  (Of course, we were working on third conditional sentences, so perhaps they were just making a joke....perhaps....honestly, their facial expressions conveyed that there was some truth to their sentences--but I digress)  Several students did, in fact, make this assertion.  This is nothing new to me because I hear it every year.  However, I paused to reflect because every single student has a smartphone.  Every student can find obscure bits of trivia rather quickly.  My only question was, why didn't they know about the weather?

When I went abroad, now almost twenty years ago, I was armed only with a Lonely Planet guidebook, a look at an atlas and a few pamphlets from the Japanese Consulate (which contained some fabulously out of date photos even then--imagine how old they look now) I didn't have the opportunity to look up anything on the internet.  I read that book (and those brochures) cover to cover.  The truth is, nothing can compare to being there, but I did the best I could.  The funny thing is, I think I was better prepared than my students, who seem surprised at so many things.

I keep forgetting to ask them how they prepared for their trip.  Maybe I am afraid that they will answer honestly, that is to say, they really didn't prepare.  I am reaching that conclusion on my own anyway.  They can find every variation of the Harlem Shake known to man, but couldn't find out that it snows in Canada in the winter?  Seems too unbelievable to be true.  Sadly, it is. 

If I had to guess, they probably don't look up anything until it is staring them in the face.  I have this image of my students landing at the airport, and then having to enter the following words in the search box.  "Toronto, white stuff on ground, cold" and seeing what Google tells them.  You'd think that some of that might have come up when packing.

If I have said it once, I've said it a thousand times.  Smartphones, don't make smart people.

Like Nails on a Chalkboard

 

For the most part I am an easy going person.  Okay, that's probably an exaggeration, or probably an outright lie.  A lot of stuff bothers me.  I created this blog so I would have space to vent my frustrations with the world.  Today, it has to do with things people and their inability to pronounce things in Japanese.

What's so difficult?

I know it is already too late for words that entered English in the 1980's.  Nobody will every pronounce karaoke correctly.  The same goes for words like karate, sake,  and hibachi.  Sometimes there is nothing we could do; our inability was decided by companies and names were changed to reflect that.  Words like Mazda, Datsun, Godzilla (all of which are not written, spelled, or pronounced that way in Japan) were given to us, already altered.

The sad facts are that we change lots of words to English friendly pronunciation.  I certainly don't pronounce Volkswagen the way my German/Austrian/ Swiss students do.  I could (though I let them think it is impossible) but I don't.  It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that I realized the word Braun, sounded exactly like brown. As a Canadian, I try a little harder to pronounce things in French--but don't we all?  I can't do that lisp like sound from Spain...though I have tried.

But I digress.....

Having a fondness for Japanese, I do wish it were pronounced better on television.  Maybe I am playing favourites, but it's my blog and I can do what I want.  And I want people to pronounce things in Japanese better.

Several things sparked this rant.  The first is that stores are now selling Japanese style breadcrumbs.  I think this is great, because the breadcrumbs are a great product.  What I don't think is great is that people can't pronounce "panko".  It drives me absolutely nuts every time that commercial is on.  It has gotten so bad that I have to quickly change the channel.

The second thing is the TV show American Ninja--no, I am not going to blather on about the word ninja, and stuff like that.  On the show, the final obstacle is called Mount Midoriyama...... yama means mountain.  Mount Midori Mountain.   It's worse than fingernails on a chalkboard.  Couldn't anyone do some research before they decided that was the title of the final obstacle.  Mount Rushmore Mountain?  Mount Everest Mountain?  Are your ears bleeding too?

Am I asking too much?

Are Scholarships Wasted on the Young?

Every day I am surrounded by people who are studying English on scholarships from their governments.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not unhappy for them.  I am, in fact, jealous.  I want a scholarship to go to a foreign country and study.

Some, not all, of my students get to study English in Canada because of these scholarships. Hopefully, they will go back home and utilize their English in their careers.  Those who aren't on scholarships, but are studying nonetheless, can hopefully do the same thing.

I said that I am jealous.  That is true.  I really wish there were scholarships for people in their early forties who want to go to Japan and study Japanese for a year.  The program could contain studying both language and culture.  That would be awesome.

These kinds of things are mostly given to young people, but wouldn't older, more mature (most of the time) people get even more benefit from them?  It is great that young people are given such experience, but we need to consider a few other things.  With age comes wisdom, or so the saying goes.  An older person would have the ability to see things more clearly, judge more accurately, and experience things more fully.  And then, wouldn't an older person be better able to articulate the things that were seen and learned?

Everybody is told to keep upgrading their skills.  Most workplaces want people to keep increasing their qualifications, or at least maintain contemporary skills.  Shouldn't this be the same for experiences as well?  It is certainly something to consider.

 

Where's my Jet Pack?

Technology is pretty amazing.  We have wafer thin phones which can 1000 more things than my first computer could do.  We have cars that have don't need keys, and can park themselves.  We have televisions that are bigger than some of the screens that were at the Eaton Centre movie theatre (when it was still open).  Great as this is, couldn't we redirect that at some other areas.

When I was a kid we were promised jet packs.  Where are they?  Why do I have to drag my sorry self onto a bus for an hour or more, or drive (concrete bound) on a crowded highway for the same amount of time.  I should be jetting across the sky to work at a speed only a Porsche on an empty highway could achieve.

virtually unchanged in my lifetime

Since that seems so far away, could I, at least, have more modern vending machines?  In Canada, we've been dealing with the same model since long before I was born.  They might have reorganized the buttons, and updated the pictures, but that's it.  In Japan, they have machines which have 24 or more choices, can serve hot or cold beverages (at the same time) and accept $100 bills.

We are putting all our technological eggs in one basket.  We are working on faster computers, more talented phones, and probably cars that can drive themselves.  Maybe we need to look in other areas to invest all this energy and innovation.  Why can't we have remote controls that don't need batteries?  We put all kinds of kinetic energy into them by using them.  We should be able to power them with that.

hot, cold, and lots of choices

Why can't we have a toaster that will evenly toast your bread, and never burn it.  We can put a rover on Mars, but I have to spend many of my precious morning minutes scraping the carbon off my breakfast.

We have the technology, but we need to think of a better way of applying it.