A Harangue Against the Lazy

The kind of laziness I really hate.

 

Why are people so lazy?  I know, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.  Yes, I admit I am lazy, but not about everything.  Lazy cook?  Yes.  Study Japanese lazy?  Yes, sometimes.  I could write down a long list of things I am lazy about.  Walking is not one of them.

Before you get scared and roll your eyes, this is not a harangue about people who drive their cars when they could walk.  This isn't even a harangue about people who park illegally in disable parking (they should be shot, even if they have a sticker they "borrowed" from a family member).  This is a different harangue altogether.

There are two types of lazy people that bother me the most.  The people who take the elevator one floor, and the people who use the automatic door open button.  Let's take them one at a time.

Taking the elevator one floor is wrong.  No wonder North America has a weight problem.  If you've never been to the building, and don't know where the stairwell is (despite clear signs directing you to it) perhaps you have a reason for your sad, pathetic behaviour.  However, after multiple visits and guided tours, you're just pissing the rest of us off.  When I take the elevator up to the twentieth floor, I don't expect or want to stop at every floor.  I'm not in a Japanese department store.

As for using the automatic door opener..... if you're a child, I won't blame you.  An automatic door is cool.  I will blame your parents though if you continue to do this into your teen years.  What's wrong with you?  Is the door too heavy?  Are you unable to read which way it opens, and therefore need to press that button to stop you from looking stupid? (By the way, it doesn't work that way.  Pressing the button makes you look stupid and feeble.)  You're in the way, and you're taking too long to get through the door.

Tales of the Lazy

 

 

What if technology is too smart for someone's brain?  Today's smartphones put all kinds of information within easy reach, but does that matter if you don't reach for it.  That old question of whether a tree falling in the forest makes any sound if there is no one to hear it kind of applies.  Having all the information has no effect if you don't ask the question.

Several of my students confided in me recently that they wouldn't have come here (Canada) to study if they had known what the weather was going to be like.  (Of course, we were working on third conditional sentences, so perhaps they were just making a joke....perhaps....honestly, their facial expressions conveyed that there was some truth to their sentences--but I digress)  Several students did, in fact, make this assertion.  This is nothing new to me because I hear it every year.  However, I paused to reflect because every single student has a smartphone.  Every student can find obscure bits of trivia rather quickly.  My only question was, why didn't they know about the weather?

When I went abroad, now almost twenty years ago, I was armed only with a Lonely Planet guidebook, a look at an atlas and a few pamphlets from the Japanese Consulate (which contained some fabulously out of date photos even then--imagine how old they look now) I didn't have the opportunity to look up anything on the internet.  I read that book (and those brochures) cover to cover.  The truth is, nothing can compare to being there, but I did the best I could.  The funny thing is, I think I was better prepared than my students, who seem surprised at so many things.

I keep forgetting to ask them how they prepared for their trip.  Maybe I am afraid that they will answer honestly, that is to say, they really didn't prepare.  I am reaching that conclusion on my own anyway.  They can find every variation of the Harlem Shake known to man, but couldn't find out that it snows in Canada in the winter?  Seems too unbelievable to be true.  Sadly, it is. 

If I had to guess, they probably don't look up anything until it is staring them in the face.  I have this image of my students landing at the airport, and then having to enter the following words in the search box.  "Toronto, white stuff on ground, cold" and seeing what Google tells them.  You'd think that some of that might have come up when packing.

If I have said it once, I've said it a thousand times.  Smartphones, don't make smart people.

Responsible Chilren, Lazy Adults

dream delivery

 

When I was a kid, the newspaper was delivered by children, or youths.  These days, it seems, this has become an adult occupation.  You would think that adults taking over the role of children would lead to better service--everyone says kids are not as responsible as adults.  Sadly, I have to tell you nothing could be farther from the truth.

The person who used to deliver my local paper walked from house to house.  They didn't trample over my grass or flowers.  They walked on the sidewalk from house to house, and always put the paper on my step, in my mailbox, or even in my screen door.  (I did in fact call the newspaper office to praise the carrier on more than one occasion)  The current person doesn't even get out of their car.  This wouldn't bother me, except that when their paper doesn't land anywhere near my house, they don't bother go correct their mistakes.  The other day, they threw the paper at me when I was on my way home from work.  Thanks.

Think this is a problem only with the local paper?  Think that this sort of thing wouldn't happen at the more prestigious national paper?  You'd be wrong their too.  Responsible children one, lazy adults zero.

not my house, but not far from the truth

I guess the parents of my local carrier taught their child well.  I am sure most parents preach responsibility and taking pride in your job.  I sure they stress it is better to do things right, than to do them quickly.  If only they could take their own advice.  I would say that I wished that they would grow up, but that wouldn't obviously be true.  I wish they would be more childish, because, surprisingly, that would be better.  At least then I wouldn't have to trudge through snow banks looking for my flyer filled newspaper.