The Fall TV Season

I think I missed something.  Usually, around this time, I am either getting worked up or rolling my eyes at the new fall TV show ads.  Up to this point, I think I've seen two.  What happened?

Usually I'm inundated with laugh track filled commercials telling me what shows are the funniest new show of the season, or the next Friends.  Usually, I'm waist deep in promos for the next crop of reality shows that depict a somewhat specialized view of the not so real world.  Usually the stars are on parade on every talk show on the planet hyping the fall line-up.

What happened?

Did Hollywood run out of ideas?  That happened years ago, and it hasn't stopped them.

Maybe I have just been spending too much time blogging to notice.

A Ban on Trampolines? Really?

I was eating my breakfast, wondering why it was so cold when the radio news announced that paediatricians were calling for a ban on all young children playing on trampolines.  I can't say as I took this news well.

Don't get me wrong,  I know trampolines are dangerous.  I have seen literally hundreds of scenes on America's Funniest Home Videos that showed people bouncing right off the trampolines into the ground, the side of their house, a doghouse, a tree and many other hard objects.  Granted most of these people were older, most likely drunk, show-offs who obviously got what was coming to them.  Granted, also, that I laughed most of the times I watched them, and only cringed once or twice.



Rosie MacLennan

So, okay, trampolines are dangerous.  I certainly don't want anyone to get hurt, or killed--though I suspect the aforementioned drunk show-offs will just find another way to get themselves on TV.  I guess I just see a few more consequences to banning these things than preservation of weaker strains in our gene pool.

What would Rosie MacLennan think.  She won Canada's only gold medal in the London Olympics.  It is likely that she has used a backyard trampoline a time or two in her life.  Add to that, to reach Olympic calibre you have to start young.  Maybe this is the international community's way of making sure Canada gets no gold medals at the next Olympics.



lethal fun toy of my youth

Do we need more regulations in our lives?   Is a ban necessary?  Wouldn't better parent supervision accomplish much of the same thing?  We lost lawn darts because they were deemed too dangerous.  Part of the fun of that game was its lethal nature.  I am sure there were plenty of lawn dart accidents, but I am sure either alcohol or lack of supervision was a contributing factor.



pathetic safe toy of today

When you get right down to it, a lot of stuff can cause harm.  You could take a horseshoe in the head.  You could get a serious burn from a hula hoop.  You could go careening off the wet banana into a bunch of hard, scratchy stuff (again, I have seen this on AFV).  Once my mother warned that we could take out an eye--and we were playing with a beach ball.   Let's face it, the world is a dangerous place, with or without trampolines.

And Lest I Forget

Shortly after posting this blog (the next day, but the first time I had actually gone outside) I witnessed many more examples of this behaviour,  I also witnessed the other directional phenomenon.  I watched numerous cars that seemed incapable of making a right turn.  Since, in Canada, we are allowed to make right hand turns on a red light (after stopping and making sure the way is clear) I would have thought people could maintain their lanes in this simple activity.

Alas, I was wrong

Making a Left Turn

Why can't the majority of people make a good left turn?

nearest lane, nearest lane!

Everyday, I see people turning left and not entering the nearest lane.  They go careening across two (sometimes three) lanes.  Granted it has been a long time since I took driver's education, but I am pretty sure that isn't what you're supposed to do. 

What could be behind this?  Is it a comfort issue?  Wide turns probably are more comfortable than tight turns.  Is they were driving a bus or a big rig, I probably wouldn't be raising a stink, but when you're driving a smart car....

Sometimes the place they want to get to is a right turn immediately after the intersection.  In that case, I really can't blame them, I have to save my abuse for city planners.  Any car wrecks. are on them.

look there's another one

I am not really sure why I find it so frustrating.  Maybe it's because I have almost been wiped out by cars missing their lanes.  After a turn you don't expect someone to try and pass you on the right, especially after you signalled.  (In this case checking your blind spot is really important).   Maybe it is because traffic would move so much faster if I could make my right turn onto the road instead of waiting while the person misses their lane so that I don't get cut off or sideswiped.

In the future I am sure that we will be able to call every car by typing in their license plate numbers.  We probably won't get to talk to the driver, but the car will probably be listening.

 

The Curious Case of the Elevator Button

the elevator has been summoned

I came upon a rather typical scene the other day.  I walked up to the elevator, pressed the elevator call button and took my place leaning against the wall, waiting for the incredibly slow elevator to make its way to my floor.

Another person, a short time after me, walked up and pressed the same elevator call button.  This was followed by a third and a fourth.  They all pressed the button, despite seeing the line up of people and the amber light glowing in the centre of the button.

This is not a new situation.  I have been involved in this situation many times, and I have taken many roles.  I have been the "I already pressed it" guy, utilizing a variety of character traits that ranged from sincere concern to incredibly sarcastic. My favourite was the nonchalant "pressed it".  The few times that I got  a response, the person usually just said, "I know."  Some smiled, some nodded, some feigned ignorance... heck one guy even high fived me--okay, I made that last one up.

I have also come upon the scene later and witnessed the exact same conversation (if you could call it that) with the same high quality responses.  I've witnessed the same ponderous, or incredulous faces.  I've watched countless eye rolls.  I even have to admit that I have been one of the guys who has pushed the already lit up button.

safe to press

So what is it about the elevator call button that makes us push it, even though we can clearly see it lit up.  Is it a psychological need for control.  I can't believe anyone thinks the elevator car is going to come that much faster if we press the button again.  Is it just that the little amber light doesn't register in our minds until after we have pressed it.  I have thought long and hard about this and am left to conclude that we should file that away with the secret of how Cadbury gets the caramel in the Caramilk bar.

The only real world connection to this seems to be the walk button when you want to cross the street.  I don't see people lining up one after another to press it, but I have seen (and taken part in) an almost ritualistic act of pushing the buttons multiple times, perhaps believing that, in fact, the light will change that much sooner.

 

Optimism? Really? Really!?

Another day on hockey?  I didn't really mean to do it.  I had planned on attacking some other group of hapless  do nothings, but I was forced into this position.  And besides, it isn't the NHL that I am going after today.  It's the media.

I opened up the paper and was greeted with the words that there was optimism amongst everyone involved that this lockout could be solved quickly.

What?

Who are these people with optimism?  It couldn't be with the two sides that aren't talking to each other.  It couldn't be with the media people who were busy high fiving themselves due to their success (ahem) in predicting the lockout.  It couldn't be with the fans, because their emotions are more closely akin to disgust and rage.

I then wondered if this was a cheap ploy to sell more newspapers.  Ridiculous, in fact, because I was reading this in the free commuting newspaper.  I suppose it might help sell advertising, but my anger over the whole mess doesn't really put me in a shopping mood (and that will include any future purchases of hockey paraphernalia when the sport resumes--I have a long memory and I won't forget this time)

So who's optimistic?

at least someone is happy

Players who are Europe bound might be optimistic about a diet of Swiss chocolate, or fine German beer.... but optimism for this mess?  I think not.

I could forgive the media (but I won't) for putting us through this, but I am sure that when they finally get to report on the thing being done for real they will try too hard to make themselves look like geniuses.

No Sympathy

The NHL locked out the players this week.  Big surprise.  We all saw it coming, we all knew it was inevitable.  Like the hockey fans we are (or maybe now were) we tried to pretend that it wouldn't happen.  We tried to pretend that much like our beloved teams, they could stage a late rally and win it all.

Foolishness.

My thoughts on this are many.  I sympathize more with the players than the owners.  While the players make more money in one season than I will likely make in a lifetime of work doesn't bother me as much as I think it should.  There are lots of overpaid people (Gary Bettman for one) in all industries, not just pro sports.  If only we could lock out some political leaders or senators.

Hockey players want to play the game of hockey.  They've been doing it all their lives. and now that simple thing is denied them (along with their large salary)  Some will go play in Russia or parts of Europe.  Hopefully some of those games will be broadcast on TV for me to watch.

Watching the owners of well to do teams sign players to long term deals on the eve of the lockout seems to me to be dealing in bad faith.  You know that the players are eventually going to have to take some kind of rollback, so if that was calculated in the contract....that seems a little dishonest, or at least a little nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more kind of way.  I can't really stomach them claiming that they have no money when they sign these contracts.  The hypocrisy is mind-bending.  Maybe they need to learn a little thing called restraint.

It is like watching an obese person claiming they want to lose weight while overeating.  Yes, there might be psychological problems that cause this behaviour--the desire to win is a strong one, but in this analogy the players are the super extra large pizzas.  Neither the food, nor the players are to blame.  Bettman's idea is to lock the fridge, but that won't change the behaviour.  It didn't work last time, why would it work this time.  You're going to unlock the fridge eventually.

Some teams are too poor, or play in markets where they don't draw a crowd.  There are only three choices.  Fold, relocate, or get the richer clubs to share their revenue.  Bettman doesn't like the first two because he keeps hoping that hockey will get the same ESPN deal that the NFL got.  As far as pipe dreams go, that is a pretty good one.  As for sharing revenue.... the rich owners certainly don't want that.  However, it can be don.  If they paid a 100% luxury tax for exceeding the cap, the money that they overspent could be sent to teams that qualify for financial support.

I would love to hear what everyone thinks.  As you know, since there won't be any hockey on television, I have plenty of time to talk about it.